Today it rained from morning until night --- dark and storm and dreary. I've basically been stuck in bed since Saturday, I haven't gotten any physically activity since then and it is clear I won't be racing at The Nations Triathlon this year.
Today was also the day I headed to my orthopedic surgeon to discuss my busted up left arm. You may recall that the folks at Beebe Medical called me yesterday to insist that I see an ortho since after the fact they saw what appeared to be a chipped bone on my film.
After another painful and restless night that required painkillers to induce sleep, I was starting to feel beat down. The news from Beebe only helped to push me further down.
With all this as a backdrop I arrived at the doctor's office. After another set of x-rays --- and let me tell you the pain of getting that updated film was kinda awful --- it was clear that I had chipped my shoulder. Who would have thought that what appears to be a minor bone chip could cause this much pain!
The doctor then did a series of strength and flexibility tests to both my arms.
The good news --- I was stronger and had more range than he would have expected.
The bad news --- during a resistance test he was concerned with my performance and level of pain as I brought my arm back down into a neutral position. This plus the location of the chip gave him concern that I may have damaged my rotator cuff --- a much more serious injury that would require surgery.
Whaaaat???? F-ing surgery?! Now the thought of that freaked me out.
I'll find out more tomorrow after my MRI and follow-up with my ortho.
Now the danger of the unknown and having more time than you'd like to think and analyze is that you can start spinning...and that's what happened tonight.
All the "what if's" and "why me...again" started racing around --- all completely unproductive time sucks I might add. Though, I do wonder what lesson all this is intended to teach me. I've had my fair share of "coming back from adversity" stories that I would hope that I've sufficiently learned those lessons.
Given how far I've come to train for Nations and my other fall events, I have to admit that I am crushed at the thought of losing my momentum and separately missing out on the opportunity to compete, but obviously there is a reason for all of this b/c I just can't accept that life is just this f-ing random.
So after tonight --- or more realistically tomorrow after I hear the prognosis --- I'm shutting down this pity-party and harnessing my energy in a more positive direction.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
No comments:
Post a Comment